Why You Shouldn't Say: “I’m So OCD,” “I’m So Depressed,” etc.

Disclaimer: This article is on topics including mental health and discrimination by societal systems. Of which includes graphic descriptions of what it is like to live with these issues including pre-panic attack reactions and different types of suicide attempts. Although this article has left out a lot of possibly triggering material, this may be of concern to some viewers.

If you have questions in regards to any of the material in this article, please email me at sophiadomingo.inkmagazine@gmail.com. See the formatted article HERE for the citations in footnotes.

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Preface

I am sure quite a bit of us have heard the words, or said, “I’m so OCD,” “I’m so depressed,” “I’m so bipolar,” “I’m so ADHD,” “You’re so MPD,” and so on. It’s not a huge surprise if you have heard a lot of people say something along these lines, in a lot of cultures it is still commonly said in everyday life to describe normal emotions and/or situations.

Unfortunately for something so commonly said, it is a form of passive discrimination. Discrimination through misinformation, stigma and a lack of empathy and understanding. Hopefully, you will come to understand the basics of this form and aspect of discrimination in real life through this article.

However, before this article starts, I would like to claim that if you have said or let someone say any of the above statements or statements similar to them, it is not your fault. As this article will explain, it is a completely sociological issue and nothing to do with you or the people around you.

Another thing to note is that phrases such as these could be a sign of dealing with mental troubles depending on the context and the way it is said. If someone is frequently showing signs of mental illness and says a phrase similar to above, it could be a subconscious call for help. For example, if someone frequently washes their hands and, when confronted, says they are “so OCD”, this can either be insensitivity or something you need to keep in mind in case they are a danger to themselves. It is very important to keep this distinction in mind as I will be talking about the former; ignorance and insensitivity.

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Stigma in Relation to Misinformation

First, it is important to understand some context on the issue. You may skip towards the next section if you are already aware of what stigma is and its relationship to misinformation. If not, stigma is when a person sees someone else from a negative viewpoint because of a particular characteristic or attribute out of their control associated with who they are. This includes skin colour, race/cultural background, disability, sexuality, gender identity or, in this case, mental illness. In terms of mental illness specifically, it is when a person insensitively defines someone else by the disorder they have rather than who they are as an individual.

Now, stigma is usually caused by misguided views surrounding the idea that individuals who deal with mental health issues are ‘different’ from everyone else in the sense that they can’t operate as ‘fully human.’ These early beliefs were set in place by society when people were first wondering what was causing mental health issues in humans. Because of the lack of medical education in this area, which we now have, it was thought to be demonic and/or spiritual possession of their body. This has led to the ‘normal’ conception that people with mental health issues are something to be cautious around and feared by society.

Like many other forms of discrimination and stigma in general, old stereotypes from the past continue to linger in our society today. This can be especially seen in the media as “news reports often link mental illness with violence or portray those with mental health issues as dangerous, criminal, evil, or disabled – often in television shows and movies.”

Common stigmas include statements such as:

• Mental illnesses are not real and they are just faking their illness

• People who are mentally ill are dangerous

• Mental health problems do not affect children or teens

• People can just “snap out of” their disorder and “get over it”

• Addiction is not a disease, it’s a choice and shows a lack of willpower

• Individuals with mental health problems cannot recover

• Therapy is a waste of time and money

• They are weak for having their disorder

• It’s impossible to prevent a mental health problem1

This is generally the opposite as;

• Where there are people who fake and have faked having a mental illness, the people who do have mental conditions are not faking and are dealing with medical conditions that can be compared to cancer, heart disease, etc.

• People dealing with mental health issues are usually ones who have been victims of the things we so commonly associate them being “dangerous” for.

• 10% of children and teens are dealing with mental health disorders

• Depression is usually something that someone deals with for the rest of their life

• Addiction often turns into a compulsive and uncontrollable desire that can be impossible to be cured from without help. It is generally caused by inner emotional trauma.

• Individuals with mental health problems most definitely can make their symptoms have less of a toll on their lives if they cannot be cured of their disorder forever. There are ways to cope and it is impossible to say they will always be the same with or without treatment.

• For many people, therapy does wonders for the problems they face, but it needs to be said that it is not the only option you would have and it is not 100% effective. In addition, there are multiple forms of therapy depending on what each and every person is going through.

• People with mental health issues are usually the most strong, intelligent and mature people in the world.

• There are steps you can take to take care of your mental health that does reduce your chances of developing a mental disorder sometime in your lifetime

Seeing that these common stigmas can most definitely be corrected, is it rather concerning that many people still believe in these false “facts.” Hopefully, you can now understand a bit more about why this topic is something that needs to be talked about more openly.

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The Main Issues

Part 1: The Facts

Firstly, for people with mental health issues, the social stigma and discrimination they experience can make their problems worse, making it harder for them to recover. They have to deal with;

• A lack of understanding from their family, friends, and others

• Fewer opportunities in employment

• Little to no social interaction

• Higher rates of poverty and homelessness

• Bullying, physical violence, harassment, and other forms of assault

In addition, they need to deal with things within themselves caused by stigma such as;

• The feelings of shame, hopelessness and isolation

• Self-doubt from the belief that you will never overcome your illness or be able to achieve what you want in life.

• Causing said person to avoid getting the help they need because of the fear of being stigmatised.

• Trapping said person in an endless loop of getting better then relapsing due to societal views

• An exponentially lower self-esteem from being constantly told by others that their illness is redundant

This is not to say that lower self-esteem is not as ‘valid’ as it is in this situation, this is just an example of it in regards to this topic. Where discrimination does have a major impact on one’s self-esteem in general, when you are discriminated against for your self-esteem itself and other related issues you may have that is intertwined with your self-esteem, things just grow more harmful to who they are as people and the impact of the discrimination itself.

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Part 2: Understanding and Perspective

Let me briefly paint you a picture, keep in mind that this is a very generalized snippet of someone’s life that may differ from person to person. This is just something to try and briefly explain what depression feels like in the case of someone saying the words “I’m so depressed.” Keep in mind this is not how everyone with depression will react, it is just one example and not to be the defining reaction everyone has.

In addition, the following was written to explain to someone who may not fully understand what depression is like while also not being triggering to those of you who may read this and relate. Because of this, it is not the most realistic and honest truth and I apologise in advance.

Based on real-life events, written for you to see things through their eyes.

“You have depression. Your life is falling apart at the seams, and everything is just overwhelmingly numb. Everything is excruciating and you’re sitting there in your own mind, dealing with everything at once.

“Now, you don’t look like you’re dying inside, you look ‘normal’. As ‘normal’ as one can be.

“So, you’re having a bad day but you’re managing life as best as you can, even though you’re failing terribly. You’re having a ‘conversation’ with a classmate but they only want someone to rant to. You let them, it’s not like you’re worth anything anyway.

“They’re having a bad day too but not in the same way as you. You’re different. They tell you about how their classmates are being annoying. Overall not very concerning to you because you have to deal with so much more than they could ever know.

“They continue to talk all of their frustrations out on you until…..

“OMG, I am so depressed. Right?”

…

“What?”

“You’re depressed because of that…..

“They laugh it off because it’s just a funny joke to them but the weight on your shoulders is soul-crushing. Your entire existence has been ridiculed from being compared to ‘annoying classmates.’

“They continue to rant about how awful their day is in response to your ‘stupid’ question. But it doesn't matter anymore. The pain that you feel is redundant to them, the guilt you feel is just so overwhelming and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and die.

“It’s like all of your problems are not real and something to be passed by like the falling leaves in autumn. You’re frustrated and hurt at the fact that they could possibly say something that has so much impact on you; as a joke.

“It’s like you're not good enough to be acknowledged anymore, and this was their way of saying ‘I don’t care.’

“Just when you think they’re done and you can be left alone...

“Hey, why are you so bummed out? It’s just a joke, it's not like depression is serious or anything, it’s just when you’re sad or—”

“You get up and run to the bathroom and ignore the yells of the teacher yelling at you because you’re running in the halls. Just another thing to feel guilty for.

“You close the door to the stall and you just stop, because you know that after all of your trying, it will never stop. You can’t get help because they won't care and you will never be enough.

“They think you’re okay and you can’t tell them you're not because they will never take you seriously. Everyone should just go on because you’re just a burden anyways.

“See, everyone is so happy. Your parents are getting to spend much more time together because you’re okay with them going out every night. Your teachers don’t need to deal with anyone disrupting the class because you take the brunt of everything during break. Your ‘friends’ are doing okay because you don’t talk to them anymore.

“Everything is great, for them.

“But not you, because you’re sitting in a bathroom stall having a ‘panic attack’ because someone said they were depressed.

“You’re not okay, and it’s fine. You can just stay locked up inside your own head, right?

“You stop being able to breathe”

End

So, where that may have been a confusing and an overreaction to a simple situation. This is the lives of many students here and today and it should not go unnoticed.

When people say the words “I’m so [insert your term here]”, they are essentially saying that the people who are [insert your term here] are not real. When you have a mental illness, it consumes your life whole, just like any other illness out there.

Let’s give an example of this:

“When you are feeling unwell and have a cold, you wouldn’t say “Oh dear, I have cancer” and laugh it off, would you? Why would you, when you know that people are dying from cancer every day?”

Now let’s swap that paragraph for something else:

“When you are feeling down or sad, you wouldn’t say “Oh dear, I have depression” and laugh it off, would you? Why would you, when you know that people are dying from depression every day?”

Our outlook on mental health should be the same for any other physical illness, maybe even more empathetic. We need to understand that these people should not be in a position where they are not taken seriously for the pain, guilt, humiliation and hurt they are dealing with every single day. Their perspective on the world may be hard to understand, but we need to try our best to look and listen to their perspective with honest and open eyes and ears.

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Part 3: Death Rates

Last but not least, let’s look at death rates. Here are just three examples of three different areas in regards to mental illnesses and why you should not encourage this stigma and misinformation to continue to spread.

First, around 5,000 people die from an eating disorder across the whole world annually. That’s about one every hour. In addition, keep in mind that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate out of all of the mental illnesses recorded and are not limited to anorexia and bulimia.

Second, about 88,000 people die from alcohol addiction annually in addition to 130 people from an opioid overdose per day in the United States alone. That’s one person from dying from alcohol abuse every 16 minutes and one every 9 minutes from an opioid addiction in one country out of the 193 (according to the UN.)

Lastly, at least 800,000 people die from suicide around the world annually. That’s about 1 every 40 seconds. In addition to that one person dying per 40 seconds, another 20 people attempt suicide.

Now imagine, every two seconds, at least one person is either suffocating themselves, hanging themselves, downing a bottle of pills, poisoning themselves by drinking detergent and other chemicals, shooting themselves in the head or heart, jumping off of a building, drowning themselves, throwing themselves onto a highway or in front of a train, crashing their car deliberately, attempting a contract a death inductive disease or, the one most teenagers are no familiar with now, splitting themselves open so they can bleed to death and finally be free.

You probably know at least one person in your life who has committed suicide and are connected in some way to someone who has died from it. You may not know it yet, but these people are everywhere around you.

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The Answer

In all, we should not discriminate on the basis of mental health because these are people dealing with such immense issues that consume their lives. About 450 million people around the world are currently dealing with a mental disorder. This is about 25% of the population, a quarter of all people on earth, ¼ of everyone you know.

Things people can do and encourage others to do to reduce stigma include:

• Learning the truth about mental illness and sharing them with family, friends and classmates

• Getting to know people with personal experiences of mental illness so you learn to see them for the person they are rather than their illness.

• Not judging, labelling or discriminating when you meet people with mental illness. Treat all people with respect and dignity.

• Avoiding language that puts the illness first and the person second. This most definitely includes the “I’m so [insert your term here]” statement. In addition, make sure to speak up when you hear people around you making stereotypical or inaccurate comments about mental illness.

• Sharing your own experience of mental illness if you have experienced it. This will help dispel myths and encourage others to do the same.1 Although, be sure to share when you are ready. There will always be the right time and place for telling people, and hopefully, when you do, you can make a difference in at least one person’s life.

We cannot stand here and sit on the sidelines and do nothing about this. If we continue to discriminate against those with mental illnesses, their actual livelihoods will be at stake. We need to do what we can to make sure these members of our society can live out a meaningful and empowered life for their friends, families, and for themselves.

If you are in need of help and support, please do not hesitate to speak out to someone you trust. If you don’t have anyone and are desperate, which is completely okay because you are not alone even if you think you are, you can contact me through the email below. If not, and that’s completely okay, please refer to THIS list of suicide prevention lines worldwide. Even if you do not have suicidal tendencies, it is important to reach out for help.

Hopefully, you have learned something from this article on discrimination in regards to mental illness. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns through my email below.

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Acknowledgements

I would like to thank those who have helped me with this article in some way or another. This includes the administration of [ink.], those who have read this article and gotten back to me on it about how it has helped them and everyone who has read it in general. More specifically, ****** for teaching me about what finding out that your life is a lie is like. ******* for teaching me how much people need to speak. And lastly, **** ******** for teaching me what life really means.

My email address is sophiadomingo.inkmagazine@gmail.com. If you are in need of help and have no one to talk to, you can always contact me. Thank you.