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Why You Shouldn't Say: "No Problem" (or even “You’re Welcome”)
- Sophia Domingo
- Oct 10, 2020
- 9 min read
Updated: Oct 25, 2020
Disclaimer: This article contains negative material on common phrases used in society and highlights complex and controversial generation differences in terms of values and beliefs. The intent of the article is not to make a reader feel bad for using it or not using it but understand the true intent behind the phrase. The article itself displays opinions that may not correlate with my own and areas that do are clearly stated as such. If you have questions in regards to this, please email me at sophiadomingo.inkmagazine@gmail.com. See the formatted article HERE for the citations in footnotes.
Introduction
“No problem”, a common phrase used by ‘millennials’ as an easy replacement for the words “you're welcome” or “my pleasure.” Where it may seem that this is a common phrase to use, there appears to be a lot of controversy and conscientiousness around the phrase “no problem.” Now do not fret if you use the phrase on a regular basis, even though I have used it multiple times but mostly unintentionally.
Regardless of this, the main issue with the phrase stems from a generation gap between, as per Bill Flanagan on CBS News, “everyone born after 1980” and older generations. Like many controversial phrases, including “ok boomer”, there has been some spark between generations on the morality of each group; practically grouping all people within the same age groups into a stereotype of what they appear to be like.
But moving away from this, why do people of the older generations, and some people of younger generations, believe that the phrase “no problem”, is a problem? Where did it originate from? What does the phrase “you’re welcome” have to do with it? Is it actually a problem? Why do we even say it? And what are we supposed to say instead?
Why shouldn’t you say “no problem” but then again, you should? Why should you say “you’re welcome”, but then again, you shouldn’t?
What does it mean? And where does it come from?
The phrase “no problem” is an informal phrase used to say that:
One is happy to do something:
"Thanks for your help." "No problem."
One is not bothered by something:
"I'm sorry for interrupting you." "No problem."
Something can be done:
"I would like to pay with my credit card." "No problem."
Other variants of the term include:
“It’s okay”
“It’s alright”
“No worries”
“Don’t mention it”
“My pleasure”
“It’s the least I could, so”
“It’s fine”
“Don’t worry about it”
“Of course “
“Certainly”
“No need to fuss”
“Nothing to it “
“No trouble at all”
Etc.
Surprisingly, this extremely common phrase does not have any direct origin that people can find but, we can deduce that it came from the similar phrase “no worries”.
“No worries” is an Australian English phrase meaning “it’s all right”, “sure thing” or “you’re welcome”. It originates back all the way back to 1966 in Australia and the late 1980s in the UK, however, we are still not too sure when this phrase turned into the more well-known phrase “you’re welcome”. However, we know that the phrase “no problem” is an American term, especially close to the East Coast of the United States and that the phrase has slowly made itself to be a worldwide phrase used by people of all ages.
Both of these phrases are likely variants, and are used as variants, of the phrase “you’re welcome”. (This following section is important to understand, otherwise, the rest of the article will not make sense. )
The saying stems from the Old English wilcuma, which was synonymous to “pleasure” and “guest”. It was used to allow hosts to express their openness to visitors. According to the journalists Patricia T. O’Conner and Stewart Kellerman, “welcome” was first being used as a response to “thank you” at around 1603, in Shakespeare’s Othello. By the early 1900s, “you’re welcome” had become a natural reflex for people to respond after being told “thanks.” What began as an invitation into one’s home was now a glance to your own generosity.
We can now look at the slightly more selfish side of this term, through the subtext. Take the example of lending someone a pencil: I gave you a pencil so now you kinda owe me one back in the future. This sense of “owing me back” is what makes the power struggle real.
In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini, a marketing and psychology professor, cautions that the “you owe me back” glint of the “thanks, you’re welcome” produces a power struggle. “[Even] a small initial favour can produce a sense of obligation to agree to substantially larger return favour. In the conversational volley of “thank you, you’re welcome”, the person who says “you’re welcome” gets the last word. Perhaps it was inevitable that “you’re welcome” would break free from the realm of etiquette to assert itself as a stand-alone expression.”
“These days, it has become commonplace to say “you’re welcome” as a response to signal roughly: “No need to thank me. I already know how great I am.”
Why is this such a huge deal? Isn’t it just a phrase?
You may be wondering why this article goes in-depth into the phrase “you’re welcome” when it is really about the phrase “no problem”. Well, the issue relies on the complex relationship between these two phrases and the generation gap that comes along with it.
Part 1 — The Bad:
Of course, there is the bad, the main point of this article. There are many reasons why this phrase is bad and where this article doesn’t go over all of them, it goes over the main ones you may have seen in the media already.
One argument that pops up in regards to this topic is that saying “no problem” or some other variant makes the opposite person feel that their gratitude has fallen flat. That it was not received in a meaningful way from their perspective. This argument states that “no problem” is not the best way to acknowledge gratitude. There is no true meaning behind the words said and there are false feelings towards the gratitude itself.
A similar argument, but less agreed with, would be that “no problem is a “throw-away line” that indicates someone does not matter much to the person that says it. Bob Whipple, an author on leadership and trust and a masters degree in Business Administration (MBA), says that “the response to a “thank you” should be thought of as a great opportunity to differentiate yourself from the pack. Don’t waste the opportunity with a throw-away line like, “No problem.” The response of “no problem” effectively closes the exchange and stops [the] conversation.”
In addition, you could be "making impressions on people who could potentially influence [you're] life” and “ [miss] some valuable opportunities” by throwing it away with the phrase “no problem”. In essence, “no problem” indicates that you don’t care and are indifferent to the person’s willingness to show their appreciation.
However, the more popular argument is that the phrase “no problem” indicates that the previous act that they had done was indeed a problem, to begin with. As said by Flanagan, “if you want to get good tips or just generally not infuriate older people, PLEASE, only say "No problem" when there is a reasonable expectation that the task you are performing might be PROBLEMATIC.”*
Where this may be an extreme example of someone of the older generation ‘explaining’ the issue of language used by “everybody born after 1980”, it is a popular opinion that if someone responds “no problem”, they indicate that it would be a problem, or was a problem, to do said thing thanks was said for. Flanagan feels that “it's a graceful way of telling someone you've gone out of your way to help, not to feel indebted. But if you work in a doughnut shop and a customer thanks you for selling him a coffee, don't say, "No problem." He's paying for the coffee!"
These three reasons, or should I say arguments, are the basis of why people believe this phrase is wrong. That it is an impartial, selfish phrase that brings more negativity than positivity from a remark of gratitude from another person. That “everybody born after 1980” has no respect and sense of growth. That we don’t care.
Part 2 — The Good:
This article is different from others as I would usually start off with why the said phrase is good if I was comparing opinions. But, this phrase is rather different as the conflict derives from miscommunication. As I have said before, it is the relationship between generations that brings real tension through this two-word phrase.
The phrase “no problem” is covered by negativity so you would think that there is no ‘good’ to it. But, of course, there needs to be real meaning as to why the phrase is said. The best explanation that many people agree with was explained as such by an anonymous user on Reddit:
“For older people, the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it's them saying, “I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it." “No problem," however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that your need for help was no burden to them; even if it was.”
— Lucasnoahs
As you can see, the interpretation of the phrase “ no problem” differs between the two groups of people. All three issues stated above from part 1 stem from the inclusion of the word “problem” in the phrase itself. The fact that there are different interpretations of the word “problem” is what makes it a controversial phrase to be said; even if it is used in everyday conversation.
What should we do, or say, now?
Personally, I agree with the second half of the explanation. That “no problem” should be used to stress that if someone is in need of help that they would not be of a burden to me because I would rather them be okay than deal with it on their own and they should expect that others will help them, rather than sit there feeling alone while people walk by not noticing.
I along with many other people understand that a lot of people in our generation feel like a burden to others. That they are making other people’s lives worse by asking for help and they don’t deserve to ask for help. Because of this, I believe that the phrase “no problem” is appropriate for use unless you are told that the person would prefer for you not to use the phrase.
What people don’t exactly understand, or even think about, is the fact that words evolve over time. People’s sense of gratitude is changing. People’s usage of words is changing. And, people’s intent when using specific words is changing. We need to think, even if we don’t understand, about why we say specific things, the meaning behind them, the intent we have when saying it and how it might be received by the other person. This is something that prohibits us from really solving problems, small issues such as this one or bigger ones, in the world in this day and age; a lack of understanding, the will to understand and a lot of miscommunication in concepts and ideas.
In terms of this issue, the intent needs to be clear. It doesn’t matter what phrase you use out of the long list stated above, it’s all about intent. If it is received wrongly, that is their problem and you can always clarify. You could choose what words you use when talking to others such as using “you’re welcome” in front of people who are older and using “no problem with people who are younger. Both phrases have their dark sides, as much as the older generations may say that “you’re welcome” is polite.
Again on why the phrase “you’re welcome” is not the glorious term people believe it to be, take the example of lending someone a pencil: I gave you a pencil so now you kinda owe me one back in the future. This sense of “owing me back” is what makes the power struggle real.
There will never be the perfect words to say in any circumstance but the intent needs to be real. The understanding of why people use these phrases in the first place needs to be at least thought of before people start to undermine other people on what they are saying is wrong.
This article is not to say that you can’t use the words “no problem” because you can, it’s to say that things are not always as they seem and there is no black and white in this situation. The fight over language will forever exist and you can't be fazed by those who think you are ignorant or selfish for saying “no problem”. There is ‘blood spilt’ on both sides and we have to understand that it will be that way for years to come.
So at last, at the end of this article, we can see that you shouldn’t say “no problem” but then again, you should. Even the respected phrase “you’re welcome” is the same, you should, but then again, you shouldn’t. It’s up to you, what do you think is right?
Afterword
Hopefully, you have learned something from this article on the phrase “no problem” and its counterpart “you’re welcome”. As this may be controversial, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as this is a much more complex topic than it seems and this article has only scratched the surface of systemic phrases that separates generations.
If you would like to email me privately on this article for any reason at all, my email address is sophiadomingo.inkmagazine@gmail.com
*(Please note that all quotes taken from Bill Flanagan were deliberately written in all-caps and italics from the original source.)
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